What is resilience?
Resilience is having the ability to adapt well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy or stress and bounce back to the original or a newly acquired state.
How to adapt well and bounce back? How to be resilient?
The most typical resilience strategies I have come across such as optimism and not taking things personally as well as reminding yourself of own successes don’t go deep enough and tell you how to actually achieve these things. And if it doesn’t come naturally to you to be optimistic or see the good (opportunities) in all you do, how to remember to apply those strategies in the face of adversity?
By developing a deeper understanding of yourself as well as through regular habits such as mindful presence can you strengthen it.
4 Techniques to Strengthen Resilience
1. Find your Burning Desire for Something
In order to quickly bounce back from adversity, one has to have a very strong motivation to do that. Motivation has to be towards something you really want. You need to want it more than to hang on to the pain caused by the adversity or the challenge.
Experts say that to be resilient we need hardiness and mental toughness. Hardiness means to be committed to seeing life as meaningful and interesting. You cannot possibly force that perspective on yourself, you need to find enough evidence that resonate with that statement - enough reasons for you to be grateful for what you have, enough examples of meaningfulness in your own life. To find these, you need to find your purpose and truly live it.
2. Find Positive in the Negative
Of course there are different types and gradations of traumatic experiences. It may be very difficult to lift up from the most severe ones such as a dear person’s passing or a long-term relationship break up. Whilst it is difficult to find any positive in someone’s death it is possible to find appreciation for their impact and contribution to your life. Gratitude humbles us and allows us to find the positive in the most challenging situations. Only then can we bounce back, gradually, to the original state and with time become even stronger, more resilient.
Gratitude needs to be practiced every day so that at the time of a tragedy, it can be applied like in every day situations.
3. Have Self-Belief followed by Perseverance
The belief that you can achieve something is easier, the stronger motivation you have to achieve that. If you believe that something has to be done for the world, for the good of humanity, for your community or family, then you will find the courage and self-belief to do it.
There are numerous examples in history of people who despite, or perhaps in some cases because of, rejection achieved great success. And the famous words of Thomas Edison who said: “I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won’t work” we hear echoes by today’s entrepreneurs and people of success who through their patience, perseverance and self belief, conquered many a failure and eventually achieve what they desired. J.K. Rowling had Harry Potter rejected 12 times before it was eventually published, whilst Oprah was told that she would never be able to work in TV.
If you struggle believing that you can achieve things you really want to, you may need to look at your own beliefs first; where they come from, and then reframe them so that they become enablers rather than blockages.
4. Develop Mental Toughness
Mental toughness is having the ability to appropriately respond to stress and anxiety, fear and self-doubt, all those emotions that kick in as you embark on the journey into the unknown territory.
It is very likely that you will need resilience most when you do new things, things you have never tried before. In order to achieve them, you will need to stay focused and extremely self-disciplined in order not to get side tracked by the regular or past activities or simple distractions. For that, you need the ability to manage your self-talk, the chatter that constantly accompanies your every day tasks. Developing mindfulness skills helps in the process.
Get in touch for more information on the brand new Self Esteem Mastery Program where Developing Resilience Skills is one of the four core Modules.