6 - Step Abundance of Love Formula

We all have a need to be loved and belong, and we all want to feel secure and safe.  The satisfaction of our needs can come from the external sources or from within. It is the latter that brings lasting satisfaction, fulfilment and the feeling of being, doing and having enough.

How do we apply it to love? 

People who desperately seek life partners often look for something more than just a companion. They hope that the life partner will help them fulfil their needs of being loveable, worthy or enough. If that is what they want, they will struggle finding what they are looking for, because:

1. They search for it in the wrong places – outside of themselves. They empower others to receive what is already within them and, consequently  2. They find themselves in constant neediness and desperation

If on the other hand, those individuals manage to:

  • feel that they are enough before they meet someone else,
  • realise that they are worthy of love before they fall in love,
  • know that they deserve all that they already have and are thankful for it all first,

then they are likely to attract more of that reality, which they have already created for themselves and eventually, they will attract their match and love of the significant other. 

 If you realise that you are already enough then more of being and having enough will follow


how to feel enough and worthy? 


1. Find evidence that you are already enough

What have you done that was good enough? When were you strong enough? Resilient enough? Spoke up? Stood up for what you believe in? Helped someone else? Achieved accolades and recognition? Write down the list of all the achievements when you felt good enough because of how you were or what you did.


2. Be grateful for what you have every single day

Gratitude is essential to rewire our neurological connections. If we have a tendency to think negatively, and we will be able to tell by observing out self-talk if that is the case, then changing the story to become more positive is a must to start feeling good about our life circumstances, and ourselves.  Being mindful assists in regular gratitude practice.


3. Develop self-understanding

Get to know yourself, your values, drivers, and needs and understand where they come from. Understand what pushes your buttons, your non-negotiables, your life purpose. This self-knowledge is invaluable in helping you understand your feelings and change them if they don’t serve you.  It also allows you to be less self-critical. 


4. Take congruent actions without guilt or shame

The more you feel guilty or shameful about your actions, the less worthy you feel about yourself. Your self-worth minimises the more those emotions are at play. To avoid guilt and shame, your actions need to be aligned with what you value and hold important, and therefore self-understanding (Point 3) is so important.


5. Learn to be non-attached to an outcome

If things don’t go according to plan we beat ourselves up and often our self-confidence decreases significantly. The art of non-attachment truly helps yet it is a skill difficult to master. Practicing acceptance of the reality as is – both good and bad, and recognising that it all eventually passes facilitates the non-attachment. This in turn helps us develop a habit of positive thinking.


6. Give to others

That feeling of worthiness is achieved when we serve the world, give to others, contribute. In the process of doing that, we give to ourselves as well.  We get inspired by our own actions and we expand and grow. Our very needs are also fulfilled in that process and not from the perspective of neediness and demand but from the perspective of satisfaction and fulfilment.