How to Be More Authentic in Life and as a Leader

At the last Women’s Circle event we talked about authenticity, being in the flow and achieving abundance in life. You may wonder how these concepts are interrelated?


Here are the steps to achieving authenticity, flow and abundance and the ultimate state of fulfilment in personal life and as a leader.


 Authenticity is a journey

You may not be there yet, you are on the journey constantly learning about yourself and  your own limitations also through interactions with others. Therefore being authentic does not mean being the same in every situation. Quite the opposite – it means being true to yourself at any given time. Authenticity means to become the person you are destined to be.


Being true to who you are

What may have seemed true and real in the past, is not the case now but you have done your best to be truthful, honest and integral at the time. Truthful to what though? To your values. Too. But not only. 


Values and Needs

Our values emerge from our deepest needs and these are mostly self-focused. For us to demonstrate authenticity we need to be able to remove ourselves from the cloudiness of neediness. Only then can we be the person we have been destined to become, and that is someone who has a purpose beyond their own interest. For that authenticity is closely linked with self-actualisation.



Only through growth, development and contribution can we experience actualisation. To self-actualise means to accept the reality, oneself and others for what they are. I have written before about acceptance and non-attachment to outcome. Needless to say, mindfulness practices are essential to experience true acceptance and freedom, which comes with self-actualisation. In that process, we free ourselves from self-judgement and judgement of others and instead open ourselves up, through genuine curiosity, to the possibilities of learning and further growth. The more self actualised we become, away from self focus, and instead are focused on giving in whatever way we can, the more authentic we are and the more we are then in the flow.


Authenticity supports the flow

Going with the flow means being fully present and engaged in what we are doing without questioning our ability to meet the required task. In fact, flow happens when the level of skill and challenge align and neither is too high or too low. Flow is possible as we are less focused on ourselves or the opinions of others about us (as our neediness disappears) and more focused on the task itself.  Flow is a process of self-growth that happens as we learn to love ourselves first.  That self love leads to abundance.


water in flow.jpg


Remove Yourself from The Cloudiness of Neediness and Look Up - Beyond Self Interest. 


For financial abundance we need to understand the connection between self worth and net worth.  The more we value ourselves the more value in a monetary sense we attract into our lives, too.  Paradoxically self worth increases as we develop enough reasons to appreciate ourselves first. And the only way to achieve that, without the influence of others is by shifting the perspective away from own needs and towards those of others. Not only can we then develop self appreciation, flow in anything we engage in, but also true abundance. Abundance means the feeling of being enough. Having enough occurs as we appreciate what we already have. Only through regular gratitude practice can we attract more of what we want into our lives.  For more information read the previous blog posts on abundance of love and financial abundance.



Authentic Power

With high self awareness and understanding and accepting own feelings, comes power, which emerges from within. There is no need for external power: reassurance, complements, positive feedback or appraisal to feel good about own value or to do good in the world. External power is very limiting in that it always relies on other people and their perspective, mood and motivation to provide honest feedback to us. Unlike external power, inner power does not run out. Once you tap into your source of self acceptance and self esteem, you value yourself regardless of the mistakes you make, which then you perceive as just a part of your journey.



If you would like to increase your self confidence - Mastering Your Self Esteem Program may interest you.  


Authentic People & Leaders  

  • Know and express their emotions,
  • have high self awareness,
  • accept themselves, others and the reality,
  • don’t judge others,
  • are curious and open,
  • learn from their mistakes,
  • can be vulnerable,
  • take responsibility for their own life and actions,
  • act with the intention of love,
  • have high integrity

This attributes align closely with self actualisation.


Conversely, inauthentic people may set unrealistic expectations towards themselves and others, look to others for approval and to feel valued, are judgemental (critical) of other people, tend to have a hostile sense of humour, don’t understand themselves, their emotions and so are unable to express them clearly, are not open to learning from their mistakes.



If you or any of your colleagues or friends are experiencing any of the above, and would love to change it to:  

a) lead a more authentic life, tap into your authentic power  or

b) learn how to interact with inauthentic people

get in touch for a * SPECIAL* End of Year Coaching Offer.  It Expires on 31 Dec 2017.